Tuesday, April 27, 2010
April 23, 2010 - A Virtual Memorial for our Mom - Charlotte Wengler
I have had a very sad month. My Mom had a cardiac arrest on March 13 which caused her to be in a coma. The doctors determined that even if she came out of it, she would never fully recover. our dear mother passed away with all of her children and grandchildern by her side at 1:22 am on the morning of March 18. Since many of us were from out of town, we requested the services as soon as possible, and the best we could do was have the wake on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday, and the burial on Wednesday.
Preparing for services is an emotional task...none of us has had any quality of sleep, and it seems like this whole thing is a bad dream. My sisters Tina, Lala and I went down to the funeral parlor on Monday morning the 22nd to dress Mama and prepare her hair and makeup. She was so pretty, just like she was in a deep sleep. Each of us felt it to be such an honor to do this last little bit of pampering for her.
The services were absolutely lovely. Only the very best for Mom. We sisters danced a hula that we normally would dance with our Mom...except she was in the casket.She was so beautiful! We had a lei offering ceremony where we chanted an 'oli, and the keiki (children) and mo'opuna (grandchildren) offered our best fresh leis to adorn her casket. My brother 'Umi wrote a beautiful Kanikau (chant for a passing loved one). The funeral was beautiful, and we laid our Mama's ashes to rest as we sang Aloha 'Oe. The babies - our nieces, nephews were so broken up. I never cried so many tears in my entire life.
This is definitely the saddest time in my life. My heart is broken; I feel like humpty dumpty, except instead of my head, it's my heart.
I was in a state of severe grief for the last few weeks, almost unable to function. Now however I feel like am on the way to healing. I miss her dearly, and am trying to get back in the swing of things by reading, writing, and caring about life once again.
It is helpful that I am studying the theory of Hope, and I have actually regained some renewed hope for myself in the process.
You can check out the virtual memorial site I put together here. I am still adding pictures, but this is what we have so far...
http://www.valleyoflife.com/Charlotte_Wengler/
Take care dear friends. I love you very much. Love to your Mothers as well.
Preparing for services is an emotional task...none of us has had any quality of sleep, and it seems like this whole thing is a bad dream. My sisters Tina, Lala and I went down to the funeral parlor on Monday morning the 22nd to dress Mama and prepare her hair and makeup. She was so pretty, just like she was in a deep sleep. Each of us felt it to be such an honor to do this last little bit of pampering for her.
The services were absolutely lovely. Only the very best for Mom. We sisters danced a hula that we normally would dance with our Mom...except she was in the casket.She was so beautiful! We had a lei offering ceremony where we chanted an 'oli, and the keiki (children) and mo'opuna (grandchildren) offered our best fresh leis to adorn her casket. My brother 'Umi wrote a beautiful Kanikau (chant for a passing loved one). The funeral was beautiful, and we laid our Mama's ashes to rest as we sang Aloha 'Oe. The babies - our nieces, nephews were so broken up. I never cried so many tears in my entire life.
This is definitely the saddest time in my life. My heart is broken; I feel like humpty dumpty, except instead of my head, it's my heart.
I was in a state of severe grief for the last few weeks, almost unable to function. Now however I feel like am on the way to healing. I miss her dearly, and am trying to get back in the swing of things by reading, writing, and caring about life once again.
It is helpful that I am studying the theory of Hope, and I have actually regained some renewed hope for myself in the process.
You can check out the virtual memorial site I put together here. I am still adding pictures, but this is what we have so far...
http://www.valleyoflife.com/Charlotte_Wengler/
Take care dear friends. I love you very much. Love to your Mothers as well.
Friday March 19, 2010 - Missing you, Mom
My Dear Friends,
My mom has been in frail health, suffering from a severe lung disease for many years. Saturday night March 13 she went into cardiac arrest and was rushed to Queens Hospital in Honolulu.
I was lucky enough to get a flight out on Monday, March 15th. My brothers, sisters, their kids and I have been at the ICU around the clock wanting to be with her, talking to her, praying for recovery but she never came out of her coma state. Sometimes when I spoke with Mom, she blinked her eyes and her pupils dilated; she squeezed my finger and responded to soothing...and also to agitation...I knew she could hear me, understand what was being said, and believed she was desperately trying to communicate.
72 hours after mom was admitted, the doctors scheduled a battery of tests; a prognosis was made yesterday, March 17 evening that she most likely would not recover from extensive brain damage that occurred due to lack of oxygen. Additionally, my mother's will stated that she did not want to be kept alive by artificial means. Our family honored her wishes and all the tubes were removed at 12:30 am.
All immediate family members were present; we lovingly released our mom as she took her last breaths and peacefully passed away at 1:22 am.
I can't remember being so heartbroken and yet so relieved at the same time.
Watching someone you love dearly struggle to breathe and endure pain for so long is very, very difficult. It is truly a blessing that Mom is not suffering any more.
Services need to be delivered as soon as possible because many of us are from out of town, so today we met with the people from the church, mortuary and cemetery.
They couldn't all accommodate us on the same day, but we were able to get the wake scheduled for 5:30 pm Monday; the mass will be on Tuesday, and the burial on Wednesday.
Mom was truly an angel. Those that knew her say she was full of aloha - generous, graceful, kind and loving - definitely a beautiful example of servant leadership, adored and respected by so many.
We anticipate at least 400 people will attend Mom's wake.
Although I am grateful for the time I got to spend with my dear mom, I was looking forward to interviewing her on Native Hawaiian values for my ILA-B this summer. Oh well..I guess that wasn't in the cards.
I miss her so very much...
This PhD journey sure has been interesting, hasn't it? Thank you for your continued support through your friendship. I really appreciate you.
Me ke aloha pumehana, Cami
My mom has been in frail health, suffering from a severe lung disease for many years. Saturday night March 13 she went into cardiac arrest and was rushed to Queens Hospital in Honolulu.
I was lucky enough to get a flight out on Monday, March 15th. My brothers, sisters, their kids and I have been at the ICU around the clock wanting to be with her, talking to her, praying for recovery but she never came out of her coma state. Sometimes when I spoke with Mom, she blinked her eyes and her pupils dilated; she squeezed my finger and responded to soothing...and also to agitation...I knew she could hear me, understand what was being said, and believed she was desperately trying to communicate.
72 hours after mom was admitted, the doctors scheduled a battery of tests; a prognosis was made yesterday, March 17 evening that she most likely would not recover from extensive brain damage that occurred due to lack of oxygen. Additionally, my mother's will stated that she did not want to be kept alive by artificial means. Our family honored her wishes and all the tubes were removed at 12:30 am.
All immediate family members were present; we lovingly released our mom as she took her last breaths and peacefully passed away at 1:22 am.
I can't remember being so heartbroken and yet so relieved at the same time.
Watching someone you love dearly struggle to breathe and endure pain for so long is very, very difficult. It is truly a blessing that Mom is not suffering any more.
Services need to be delivered as soon as possible because many of us are from out of town, so today we met with the people from the church, mortuary and cemetery.
They couldn't all accommodate us on the same day, but we were able to get the wake scheduled for 5:30 pm Monday; the mass will be on Tuesday, and the burial on Wednesday.
Mom was truly an angel. Those that knew her say she was full of aloha - generous, graceful, kind and loving - definitely a beautiful example of servant leadership, adored and respected by so many.
We anticipate at least 400 people will attend Mom's wake.
Although I am grateful for the time I got to spend with my dear mom, I was looking forward to interviewing her on Native Hawaiian values for my ILA-B this summer. Oh well..I guess that wasn't in the cards.
I miss her so very much...
This PhD journey sure has been interesting, hasn't it? Thank you for your continued support through your friendship. I really appreciate you.
Me ke aloha pumehana, Cami
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